I would very much love to drive, to blast the stereo,to make turns at my whims and fancy, to simply get lost on the road at 1am in the morning.
Ahh the taste of freedom.

I would dare say there's more to it

a sense of trepidation,
of quiet confidence.
a step into the unknown,
all the time.

so tell me,
where are we going?

i could only hope

With thee i bid farewell, in 3 weeks, a field camp, a million turn-outs and a few billion push ups later we shall meet again haha, hopefully i will pray

I have always liked packing my things and arranging the millions of items strewn across my table into neat piles that's on one hand pleasing to the eye but also an extremely worrying cause for ocd concern . But then again, there's a clear distinction between liking something and actually getting down to doing that something. I for one, do not have the luxury to do that, because

a) I'm barely home to mess up the table, save for these 2 weeks of block leave
b) And if its during these 2 weeks, I have better things to do than packing something that would become messed up again 10 minutes later. -nerdy interjection: entropy is everything!-. And i have my wonderfully awesome maid to pamper this spoil brat anyway.



But anyways the point is, i won't do it just because i like it.
or is this just a very bitter act of righteous indignation on my part




On a lighter note and something that actually makes sense, I was really glad I brought dillon out on friday. Just a whole day of much needed and delayed brudder bonding. It was funny how i finally got down to packing my things when i found 2 prepaid borders giftcards, (probably given to us by one of my dad's friends) shoved acrimoniously in between a pile of papers. "oooh probably 10 bucks per giftcard! i can go get me some magazines!" and the exciting thing about these prepaid giftcards is that, you don't know the value inside these cards. So me and dillon popped over to borders and i went to check the cards' value at the counter:


"oh its fifty dollars inside each card"
       "huh, fifteen dollars?"
"no, FIFTY dollars"
        a very nonchalant "thank you" later...
   

first thought - holy shit im rich hahaha thank you whoever gave this to us so yes, a book spree ensued. A first of its kind, since the spree that we're normally excited about are computer games, clothing and eating sprees, not books. I concur i'm growing old, perhaps hopefully feasibly conceivably possibly credibly wiser.


ah the joys of being pleasantly and unexpectedly surprised, never gets old.
would it be too much to ask for more?
but hey thats already expecting. how do you expect to be unexpectedly surprised?

My goodness this journal is beginning to resemble a twitter with each post as such i will attempt to blog normally by none other than listing. My 11 days of blissful freedom. Yea right.

So lets see, that gateway to haven that we now call Singapore all began last tuesday as we cruised our way out of the doors of BMT with our hellish 24km route march and pass out parade POP LOHHHH that left me the most exhausted i have ever been. That eventful day ended with a massive Carl's Junior drive-in dinner before i crashing into bed and sleeping 14 hours the next day.

Wednesday. sadly enough my memory fails me and all i remembered was eating shit loads for breakfast, catching up with pops and moms, eating shit loads for lunch, playing my beloved guitar, eating shit loads for dinner and all that usual web surfing in between till the wee hours despite having to wake up so early for...

Thursday which was the awesomeness of back to seeing the dicks  brudders that i've seen every day for 9 weeks. "why do you still want to meet up with your tekong mates even though you see them everyday and not get sick of each other' well the shit, and i mean shit we go through with each other has that queer effect aye. So it was cage at kallang in the morning - surprisingly DAMN ENJOYABLE since i have always been a social outcaste and never enjoyed football..till then.  "li jian li jian li jian li jian li jian li jian li jian li jian" and the quitessential grabbing and pulling of each other's body parts and clothes. oh and i sprained my neck from all that rolling round the astro turf that left me having to turn my entire body just to look to my left and right. I did the robot without even trying. then it was a fast march and slow march partay to lunch at budget budget japanese lunch with our private paychecks, then the computer fair where i got my spanking new studio headphones to accompany my guitar.

then alas holding true to platoon-1 section-1 tradition, we arrived at the platoon section fashionably late carrying not only last minute purchased cheapo drinks/food but a wide array of IT stuff hahaha. and holding true to section 1 tradition we ostracized excused ourselves from the BBQ midway for a session with charles. Free ice cream and dragonballz which was really..balls to the movie nothing can describe the sheer intensity of its failure as a movie. then it was a rather uneventful yet saddening goodbye to everybody as i got into a cab. 9 weeks and a simple wave, what more could there be. during the ride back the realisation struck me that i would probably never ever see my platoon mates ever again of which i have never properly held a proper conversation with some of them more than once, yes the finality of it all before i settled for the fact that there're only so many people you can hold in your life. you've only got this much space for so many people yea. people come and go, fade in and out at the whims and fancies of providence and circumstances, how many would actually stay you always ask yourself.

then friday morning came. the day of reckoning. the day that was the first blemish of my 11 days because of a certain interview with a reputable yadda yadday organization haha. so it was 4 hours of non stop email replying, roleplaying and counselling the recalcitrant gerry whom is always late for work and that 15 minutes of i-dare-say-hell impromptu speech on the life lessons i had learnt oh my goodness. Why couldn't they ask me to explain how hello kitty would eat if it doesn't have a mouth?! at least i had a fellow buddy with me to plow through the bullshit for the day haha. thereafter..homies-meetup in none other than town. choosing NYDC over a buffet, and put 6 army doods in the same table and tadah you get nothing but talk about army, army, who-went-to-what-uni, army, what-scholarship-u-applying-arh?, army and yea army. not that im complaining but it just highlights the immensely disheartening fact that our life's nothing but ARMY, and yea the occasional scholarship/uni/omgmyfutureisuncertain rant haha.

then after so much talking and 2 free sundaes later, the army boyz shag-cannot-think-already so all go home oh man. thank goodness for outgoing supperfriend googling for places to eat, now thats good use of technology. S gardens, the upcoming holland V. not a shabby place with chompchomp and ice^3 which are nice budget places, fit for the not-really-economically-independent. after which it coming home at two resulted in the usual annoyance from higher authority le-sigh its not as if im out clubbing and drinking or stupid stuff rarh woo angsty manxz.

satuday. shite i have no recollection of saturday. if i'm not wrong it was a day spent entirely on $&*#(@&$(@& scholarship applications, or rather on the essays which were the bane of my existence at that point. at a whopping rate of probabaly 100 words per hour i eventually crawled out of my study room barely alive. Oh yes saturday was glowstick's much awaited birthday partay haha! was supposed to join slutface in his make-the-money-well-spent-escapedes in the executive lounges and what not. the party was nice, expressed sincerely in my severe lack of vocabulary. 'you quiet today, is it cause of the whole army thing? - holy shit i don't know haha' me ish not a party person anyways but it got more fun as the clock ticked into the early early morning. sporting ang moh dude & hyper brother & prankcalls & bathrobe partay & silence of the lambs & watching penguins eaten by leopard seals & spize & end of the world talk & 5peopleinamiserablebed & i cant remember cause we didnt sleep & i hypocritically hate listing and narration & 4+1 people on a massive bed. haha funny stuff. 'we should book a hotel room every now and then and just do this' sounds just fine until you think - so who pays? mehh. thank God for no guard duty this weekend.

sunday came and went like the wind.

monday was liberating because clicking 'preview and submit drafts' on brightsparks was akin to unchaining 600tons of shit shackled to my legs halfway in my attempt to scale the meritocratic corporate and social ladder hurhur. so yea, mas firefly psc all done with a click of the mouse. boy did it feel good. then it was caveman outing in none other than...town! no surprise there. Marley & Me was cute, made me fondly recall the times when we still had our west highland terrier lotus. oh it was jap dinner before that, and acting all touristy and curious outside giraffe. "Of more camwhoring, flabs vs muscles, rich vs poor & failed self-timers." I DO NOT LIKE MY INFAMY NO THANKS V MUCH haha. good caveman had to go home early despite the decadent lifestyle it was trying to lead, yea right! so much for going back early but sleeping late and oversleeping for tuition haha. went to pass imperialgirl (haha) her V V V cool book in pretty wrapping paper, chilled around people watching (or lack thereof) before cabbing home with my nuggets, ALONE.

today is here we are, today is where this thing will end. woke up after-noon with a jolt with a heads up from ben about an impending phone interview and 5 minutes later 'Hi i'm calling from XXX i would like to ask you some questions now' holy shit haha which ended up with a very very disturbing 15 minute psychometric IQ test that left me in a vegetative state. "i haven't used my brain this much this year, till today" but thank goodness the test didn't go to waste. popped by NEC then after feeling slightly more alive for a "surplise!!!" haha hello like just after 15 hours. bummed around as usual with a very trigger happy finger and a hyperactive ultraman and whatnot. witnessed someone getting abandoned by her mum in a scary hospital hahaha which ended off with an mrt to clarke quay. failed trying to find supposedly outofthisworld cupcakes. ended up watching old peeps doing exercises. good stuffz chilling at subway with lemonteasprite. class gathering after that, felt bittersweet in its entirety. to say the least, am glad i've been on a come-home early streak. pops and moms would be un-annoyed.

OH MAN THAT WAS LONG AND GAY. HAHA. although i hate narrating, I want to remember, and this is how i would. better now before all these just fades into a warbled mess of disjointed visions and recollections that i pluck out every now and then in virulent nostalgia.

But in all its entirety and satisfaction that i had did alot during these few days of freedom, it kills me inside and leaves me feeling all empty knowing that the 3 people i hold most dear in my life, sure deserved so much more of my time than i had given. lost opportunities, sadly define my life.



I want to remember.
or do i not want to.

its times like these that i tell myself i could live without it,
and boy i could just stay at home all day and be content
after all,
there're only so many attachments you've got space for

...had a shitty sai-gang weekend...

( i normally detest army sing-alongs )




Sadly, this thing here is as alive as a brown leaf on the sidewalk, dried up to a crispy brown by the blazing January sun. I guess i'm weird that way but i cannot resist stepping on any crunchy brown leaf i see, sometimes at the expense of walking like a normal human being. Haha okay wtf was that about.

So anyways, army. Yes my life has been nothing but army thus far, along with the sacred weekends where i attempt to lead a normal civillian life. In a very-honest-dont-worry-i-have-not-been-brainwashed tone, army has been alright. Its not fantastic, its not horrendously inhumane. Its alright.

Alright as it is, I would very much like to write, but then again i'll never be able to coherently pen down my thoughts and experiences whirling in my degenerate mind, exposed to many many things only a group of hot-blooded pumped-up fine young men can talk about, as well as the marvellous dialect of Hokkein haha, not that i'm complaining or anything you know. So much for planning to study SATs during army.

That being said my future is so uncertain, it scares me just thinking about my future during the shitloads of time I spend rushing-to-wait & waiting-to-rush on paradise island ala tekong. But at least, the amount we spend waiting around in army, you have so much time for your mind to think and mind wander off,


wandering off,

to the past
       to what could have been,
            to what i've seen
               to them, those, us, you
                   to the incessant fears
                      to what should not have been,
                         to the present
                            to those i hold dear
                               and to what will be
to infinity




hey! it rhymes!
haha melancholic moment ruined there.

it was more-than-nice catching up with everyone. Maybe its because the lack of time makes it all the more so.
and unrealistic and selfish as it is,  I would very much want more of this, of that, of them, of you.

haha.

Dear Diary,

this will be the last time i would be typing something here for the next 2 weeks (not that it hasn't happened before) unless by some miracle i am granted internet access in the sunny island resort i would be checking into, with palm trees and white sandy beaches. Cynicism aside, today is perhaps the day that everyone goes their seperate ways; never prolly again at the same time and place will you see the people whom you have not spoken to but only know them by their faces for me at least. But yes today would have been an academically defining moment for many, for me! 1point below my expectations was rather disappointing sigh but many points above expectations for others was exciting to see oh well nonetheless zomg-results-day-i-cant-slp immediately felt so distant with the onset of zomg-im-enlisting-tomorrow-i-dont-want-to-sleep a few hours later. but i thank you for the little snippets of love and care that all add up to something in the grander scale of things lalalalafalala this is damn gay


XOXO
REC G C YEO (hahaha oh man)

GOODNIGHT.

This thing is pretty much dead as someone had earlier reminded me. Well it will continue to stay dormant in hibernation for the next 2 weeks or so anyways since i would be very happily giving up my freedom, and gorgeous flowing long messy hair for the sake of defending my nation yes praise me for my patriotism. I have been annoyed with many many things which i do not see fit to be written here; and no i will never show it; probably stowed away in one of the deep recesses of my mind because i will be moving on with my life, only keeping whatever i hold dear with me. Anyways, I have actually been at home most of the latter of this very eventful and memorable holiday. Holed up in my cave watching recorded HBO movies and 小娘惹! Well results would be out in around 10 hours. Truthfully i thought i would be pretty chill and worry free for my results, but on a fateful night bus ride home where the music from your iPod hums in your ear and your mind begins to wonder, and suddenly you feel conscious of your heart beat, ever so slowly but surely increasing in pace, increasing in intensity till it thunders into a torrent of resonating explosions in your chest. thud thud thud it went, thud thud thud it shall till later it shall. But after everything, I would like to tell myself that though it might seem so big to me at the moment, sometime in the near future if i'm still around it would all seem but a fleeting memory of something that happened, something i would only be able to mechanically recount how i felt, but not feel what i'm feeling now. Well thats how we all work ain't it. everything peaks and fades into a fizzy blur. If i'm 18 and already struggling to try to remember my experiences, what about being 40 years old? 50, 60, 80? If i ever lived long enough. Growing old...thats hard.

HAHA oh deary me that was an awfully downtrodden rant. Optimism is the new black. this should help hahaha

today i learnt how to make a gif

This year has been a very memorable

r   LL   R          C        a    T     r                    i     E
  o     E                 O       S    E                  r     D
 

I remember trying to write some cheemology its-the-end-of-the-year-post about 365 days ago along with a slew of new year resolutions that i did not write haha. but this time round it shall be simple, but yea..strive for what you want, cherish what you have, and just seize the moment? 'AM ENJOYING THE CHEESE


but anyway
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own mhmm

the pity in their eyes
the sadness behind her smile
and the smile we all still try to give

nevertheless

Turning point.

Although I admit that i was pretty bummed about my family not wanting to travel overseas this year end for various reasons, I must say today really felt like a holiday minus the I-LIKE-THE-WEATHER-WHY-CANT-SINGAPORE-BE-LIKE-THAT-feeling with 12 hours straight spent together zipping around Singapore.

( bla..narration..bla )



But yea, happy family days like this would be rare to come by in the near future, and will be cherished ahhh.
I could write more but i have a 4D3N camp tomorrow, to pack for still which would be my little get-away from home.

With my on-going attempts to keep this thing alive I shall continue to write on this thing and make something out of nothing? Well to say the least this time of the year in Singapore (probably only at night with a nice cool constant breeze) is the closest we can get to a winter's day and i must say i like it. Walking back home with the light drizzle only visible under the street lights was very surreal, minus the fact that the hypochondriac in me had to deal with the fear of a getting a fever/cold/flu walking in the rain hah. Oh woe this is no way a man is to survive tekong.

there are somethings money can't buy, but for everything else there's NETs
lol

HELLO BLOG, as well as to the people who click their friends page to stumble across this. It's been awhile hah. I do not even know where to begin since I have lost all blogging momentum accumulated over the 2 odd years that this LJ has been alive, well its one foot in the grave already. Needless to say i should blog more to practise my ability to cough out sincere bovine poop for college/scholarship apps that i refuse to immerse myself into, yet. Oh yes and for the awesome Scholastic Aptitude Test 1 as well.

Blogging and running are so similar, i dare say i enjoy them both but once you stop doing it, hell's gotta sorta freeze over first before I start again. And yes i also finally went for a run this evening that left me horribly breathless to no surprise. Considering how ENLISTMENT is 3 weeks away which is too-short-i-still-have-many-things-i-want-to-do-plxzxzx-and-also-keep-my-beng-hair.

Shallow rants aside I also finally got down to clearing my stack of intellectual property that i have amaased over the past 2 years worth a grand height of 1.8metres of pulp stacked vertically, of which roughly 1metre joined the newspaper karang guni stack. I must say I would take offence that 2 years of hardcore brainjuice slogging on paper for IB would only return me about $5 at most from the karang guni man hahaha, what poor investment returns. The remaining 0.8metres of pulp were deemed important enough and distributed as neatly as i possibly could into cardboard boxes, stowed away to a corner of the storeroom. perhaps just for sentimentality's sake where i can see myself laughing 10 years later at my IOC notes that i had so gayishly and egotestically binded . Or maybe those boxes would be opened my brother about 2 years later as he embarks on his dark ardous IB journey and is in search of my notes for his EETOKIA/IOP/IOC/WL heh heh heh.

he always asked why i was always studying at home and didn't have a life, his time will come soon hahaha

Well the holidays are half way done. Most of the days have just been a blur which I sadly would like to remember more vividly, damnit that was what blogging was for -whines like a girl- But its fine i guess i'll remember this holiday by mostly playing my guitar, bumming around, wandering around, catching up and sigh spending money. But hey, its a recession; best way out of it is to spend more money to increase consumption and investment to boost aggregate demand and tada! end of the shitty part of the business cycle. Life should be that simple and straightforward no?


to let something live or die, most of the time it never really was up to me
wooo cryptic wooooooo hahaha


Anyways, today i stayed home and played with my guitar and my new effects pedal board the whole day.
I can get used to this :D

what would i do without you XKCD!

I'm legal hahaha,
shitto i don't like the timings of these posts

is open up my eager eyes

how much longer can he last
this is tiring

BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY

Freedom i welcome thee with open arms!

Ignorance is bliss, i chose you!